Stupider than before: brain hot like old laptop

kids these days all want their hogs grounded

Jack Vening @jack_vening

Reminder that there's no "proper" way to do CPR and it's totally normal to have your own style and technique. Be you!

chase @_chase_____

i took my husband’s last name so now he’s just Derrick

Ham Cucumber @chrislockeworld

I "get" Jazz now. The saxophone is telling me to do stuff

grimace @siIIymonkey

i suck at relationship advice i be like kill him

Sandra Bullock @TheSandraBee

I wish I'd been in The Matrix. That movie was so cool.

no earthquake (real wife geist) @no_earthquake

zoomer raised on ai porn asking their partners to put on the extra fake fingers

Amtrak @Amtrak

we're taking fan art into our own hands

Ben Marsh @PastorBenMarsh

North Carolina

kep @keplyq

I would do anything for her

Some tix tox:

@brit_reynoldsno brain cell

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@brianjordanalvarez#stitch with @daenskitchen

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@jetskipsis this too far ? 💀 #fyp #foryou #element #elementedit #periodictableedit #periodictable #sodium #sodiumedit #viral #blowthisup

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Choose your fighter! Our reigning champion is C)

Fred Delicious @Fred_Delicious

ahhh, another day of jerking off to M&Ms. Now to take a big sip of coffee and open Twitter

Ma&Ya’s @mmschocolate

A message from M&M'S. https://t.co/EMucEBTd9o

Choose your fighter, groundhog day edition:

A)

Shaun Johnson @sexwithuruncle

Why didn’t Punxsutawney Phil warn us about 9/11

B)

brent @murrman5

[a little too loudly when they pull punxsutawney phil out of his box] damn he thick

C)

𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐍™ @Devon_OnEarth

I could easily John Wick my way through Punxsutawney Phil's inner circle and spike that rodent like a basket ball

D)

Rick Havoc @RikHavic

Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow. That means Kyle Rittenhouse is still a double murderer.