Stupider than before: the ides of dumb

"paul dano is the moon emoji personified" - a tweet from a private account

c a i t l i n @hello__caitlin

Ron Iver @ronnui_

I'm the guy who named all the batteries (A, AA, AAA, AAAA) so I thought I'd offer a chemical engineering breakdown of how they got these names: 1.) I am afraid of electricity

Karli Marulli @karlimarulli

*train conductor after 15 minutes not moving* ladies and gentlemen you wouldn’t believe the amount of buttons im looking at right now

boyfriend wife @cha0smilf

wake up babe it’s time for you to taste my blade

meredith @dietz_meredith

gabagool sounds like a dessert they make in lazytown, ha ha! anyways. she tony on my soprano until i tony on her soprano she tony ony my soprano intol i tony on her soprano she tony

Mr. Bedtime @InternetHippo

Thanks to a 3D reconstruction of his vocal chords, for the first time we can hear Julius Caesar's last words as they sounded during his assassination by the Senate

Some tïk tøx:

@louka__mPapao???? 😭😭😭 #pourtoi #fyp #foryou

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@clementeeniaa new single inspired by subways soup #subwayeatfresh

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@aaron_elliott__Excuse me tgis carriage is going a lil too fast mister #pov #royalty #fyp #fashion

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@cezannelane“We can get you to the top of the mountain but you need to push yourself to take off any metal before entering the medical detector” #tsaprecheck #tsa #seatac

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Choose your fighter! Our reigning champion is A) by a lot:

Michelle Collins @michcoll

A lady at the airport brought her own personal tube of mayonnaise. I’ve yassified her to maintain anonymity but she’s my hero.

Choose your fighter Paul Dano edition:

A)

riddling little freak paul dano @5OB0DIES

paul dano coming to the oscars with no nominations no bitches he just there to giggle and look mischievous

B)

indy 🥩 @cxwgirll

this shit look like paul dano

C)

BananaLugosi'sBread @upstartgeek

paul dano here to provide representation for the boiled shrimp community

D)

Chris Fleming @chrisfluming

paul dano's tiny smile shouldn't be out this late